I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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