Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I've blown a few things in my day
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
