She's JV to your varsity
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize