i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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