Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
