Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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