Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize