Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
