You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
