ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
