There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
