What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
