this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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