worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
