You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
