New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize