I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
