a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
