you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
