so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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