My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want to make a zoo with you.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
