eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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