I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
