Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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