Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
