what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
