it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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