I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
