The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
