I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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