Cold hands, warm shart.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
