are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
