so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
