Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
