I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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