Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
