Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
