dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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