Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
