happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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