he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
