I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude i'm inner monologue high
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
