Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
