Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
