I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize