but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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