He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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