One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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