We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
