Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
