so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
