Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
