Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
