is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
