I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
