Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
