I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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