no, he came in my armpit
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
