I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
