he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
